My first competitive season in Spartan over is almost over! (Spartan Stadium at Twickenham in 2 weeks will be the wrap!) Finishing this season has found me in a period of race blues and amongst that some thoughts and reflection over this past year. So here are some lessons I’ve learnt.
1) Despite what people say – ANYONE can get fit.
Most people do not know this about me, but I use to be very unfit. ‘Ha.’ You might now say; “your version of unfit and mine are very different.” Well let me tell you this- objectively, I was unfit. I am not naturally a runner and I am not naturally strong. When it comes to these things, it can come down to genetics, and as a child, they didn’t seem in my favour. Even walking had me badly out of breath. I was not fit. And at 9/10 years old I’d had enough of not being fit. So I took up cross country. For months I spent the hour being lapped by everyone- with the coach plodding along at the back with me. I was not a child prodigy. I did not start training when I was 4 and winning medals when I was 6. In fact I stayed just average for a long time. I took up football and badminton, tried my hand at boxing and found myself stumbling upon athletics. And I trained hard. I ran and ran. I loved it at times, and resented it at others. I struggled and still do; not to eat too many burgers and M & Ms. All of these things are fairly normal. I don’t owe my fitness today to irregular chance or sheer genetics, or even to being a ‘naturally healthy’ person. As cringey as it sounds, I owe it to hard work, determination and the biggest one- making the choice to be consistent. To get fit you don’t have to stop eating the food you love, you don’t have to train twice, 7 days a week. You’ve gotta be consistent with the small choices. It’s a lifestyle change, not a 4 week fad.
2) Never expect failure, but be willing to risk it.
Coming into this season I questioned whether or not I should be competing. I’d only been doing the sport a year, and I felt like a baby among some incredible athletes. In retrospect, I don’t think I gave my training the credit it deserved- but nevertheless I feared competing and coming last. I imagined it being an absolute joke, I’d take the step to move out of open waves before I was ready and I’d finish a mile behind everyone. But rather than letting this deter me, I let it push me to train harder and eat better, especially over the winter when race season seemed so far off. Would it pay off? Honestly I had no idea- but I knew I wanted to compete and so I risked it- booking my races up so there would be no backing out. Race season hit and my first race was one heck of an emotional roller coaster. I was coming in off the back of an injury and I felt the pressure mixed in with a huge desire to race well. I knew I’d be disappointed with anything less than near the top, that’s just my personality. I remember being disheartened at the start with some horrendous hills- I remember smashing obstacles I’d never done before and the surge of adrenaline as I overtook those doing burpees. I remember my back being in agony on the bucket carry. I remember collapsing with horrendous cramp in both my calves just before the Herc hoist, I remember limping on, distraught that my race had been ruined by cramp and I remember getting to the end and realising I’d still managed to come 3rd. It had paid off. The risk was worth it. There was much room for improvement yet I’d performed when it counted. I learnt that expecting to fail is an unhelpful mentality that slows you down and undermines the hard work put in- and that fear of failing should never be a factor that holds you back.
3) Injury should never be ignored. But it is not the end.
8 weeks before the start of this season I did my back in. I’d had niggles for ages in my lower back that I’d ignored and put down to fatigue. Ignoring it was the worst thing I could’ve done and pretty soon I found myself in gut wrenching pain. I couldn’t lean forward in the slightest, I couldn’t tie my shoelaces, sometimes even walking became more of a shuffle. It was debilitating and I felt at an all time low, it felt like race season was just around the corner. Resting so close to race season felt stressful and worried me, but I was in so much pain I had no choice. I built up a routine of doing stretching and mobility at lunchtime and in the evening, something I’d never made a habit of doing before and very very slowly it began to improve. I think a lot of my pain was due to tight hips and glutes- and it highlighted my biggest area of neglect in training. As frustrating as it was I learnt how important stretching was and how huge of a part it should play in training. If I hadn’t ignored my niggles and had learnt to have a proper stretching routine before, I could’ve avoided injury and back pain. However, in the long term it allowed me to build up this routine, I utilised the rest my body had, in order to get my diet in check and work on my areas of weakness. Not being able to train the way I wanted to reminded me how much I loved training and how much I wanted to do it. In the long term, it made me work harder. Did it affect my first racing? The reality is that it did, my back was still bothering me. But for me the long term benefits and lessons I learnt were far more valuable than a slightly better race.
4) Things don’t always go to plan.
Honestly, this one still hurts a little to write. I decided this year to run my first Ultra and run it as an Elite. 34 miles and 66 obstacles. For the majority of this race it was the best I’ve ever raced. My pace felt strong, I’d done very few burpees, I was coping with the elevation, for the first time I was actually hitting spear throws in a race. I was in the top 3, well on track for a podium and far enough ahead and close enough to the end that it was almost definite. We were 30 miles in and just a couple to go, I was drained and tired but running in a place of feeling comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I fell down a hole. A stupid, little, bracken covered hole. As I fell I felt a twinging pain shoot up and through my calf. Shaking it off I carried on but 5 minutes later I couldn’t weight bear and I was in tears. Could I have limped and finished? Maybe, maybe not. I had world champs in 2 weeks time and I knew what the sensible thing to do was. I DNF’d. I was driven back in a medical car and I sat in the medical tent in tears whilst they did the podiums. I’d never been so exhausted or so emotional about a race. I was completely disappointed in myself, not only had I failed but I hadn’t even completed it. I let myself down. I was tired and so at the end of that race I was at a point of never wanting to race again. (Like that was gonna last!) Having world champs in 2 weeks meant I didn’t have time to dwell in my failures, I knew that a negative attitude would affect my race and so I swallowed my pride, dealt with my disappointment and ploughed on. In order to deal with that, I had to admit to myself I was disappointed and realise that it was okay to feel that way. I learnt that if I acknowledged how I actually felt I could move on a lot quicker. Yes, it didn’t go to plan- but I learnt that there are always more races. I have unfinished business with Scotland Ultra and I’ll be back.